Sunday, 20 January 2013

My Warhammer Pet-Hates...

Hey folks this is just going to be a rant - and if you don't like insightful and to-the-point ranting, and much prefer wishy-washy mystic blathering then I suggest you stop reading now.

"Warning! Warning! Danger Will Robinson - wargamer on a rant.  Death from boredom and/or rage may result"
I was inspired to write this after watching Arch Enemy, as an observer my "pet-hates" were constantly on display - some of which I had to interject because it was a fundamental breach of the rules.  Whilst I am not perfect I try to be as reasonable as possible in most situations.
The following is in no order of preference:

1. Measurements - Don't float your tape measure above your miniatures, not only does it increase distance if placed on an angle, you can also grab inches throughout the game as your opponent doesn't benefit from the birds eye view that you do, and if you don't have a good eye things start to get inaccurate and add up over the course of the game.  Most players packs describe measuring from miniatures base to miniatures base as good etiquette - well it IS, so start fucking doing it.  Don't be lazy.
Measure from the outside edge during a wheel!  Such a fundamental but so many people don't do it - and some that should know better!  If you are in doubt as to what this rule is then I suggest you consult page 14 of the rule book.  Don't be lazy.
Don't break the 1 inch between units when moving and deploying.  Ignoring this changes the game mechanics significantly, especially as games can be won during the deployment and maneuvering facets of the game.  Once again don't be lazy.
Measure to the miniature not to the movement tray!

2. Rules queries - Don't become shrill and flip out when there is a rules query.  Keep your voice in an even tone and say "I would like to consult the rule book".  I feel that it's pretty safe to say that more time is wasted saying "No it isn't...yes it is" over the course of a game than consulting the rules in a timely manner.  REMEMBER - it isn't the job of your opponent to educate you over every single rules facet pertaining to their army book (however it is reasonable of them to answer questions or queries you may have), if access to an army book is an issue for you, your local hobby store or Games Workshop usually will have a store copy that can be read to help familiarise you with army content.

3. Dice - Probably my most controversial inclusion, but this is something that just really fucks me off.

A) Dice that have different symbols for different numbers - there's no consistency with the custom made dice, so from opponent to opponent the values are changing from symbol to symbol (even worse when multiple sets are used by the one person!).

B) As with the above, most of these custom dice are huge and overly large and actually totally impractical, in the sometimes confined space of a wargames table.  Even worse is when one of those rocks cascades into my miniatures....I am definitely in favour of smaller dice on the tabletop.  It just makes sense especially when rolling 20+ at a time!

C) The colouring of these dice can be so dark that it's actually hard to see what is being rolled from the other side of the table.....mistakes are made by everyone so it's far better to have two sets of eyes that can see the dice over one.

D) Rolling into a confined tray where I cannot see what is being rolled.  Quite rude really.  As above.

E) Rolling one set of dice for wounding and another set for leadership tests.  Now you may say I'm just being overly suspicious - but as Elvis once said "we can't go on together with suspicious minds"

F) Pick up your 'misses' not your 'hits'.  This eliminates the "no that wasn't a 6!" that can happen if you quickly pick up all your hits, as you're taking away the dice that don't benefit you, thus giving your opponent a chance to see what has been rolled. Refer also C) and D).

My solution to the dice problem would be to use a standardised set (I use the GW white and red dice).  There have been many well documented cases of dice tampering, even in big tournaments overseas - this would permanently solve this issue.  To skeptics I say - take your own deck of cards into the casino and see how far you get!

End of rant.


  1. Excellent discussion.

    I agree. Except the dice, my dice are Chessex, chaos themed and to me they're an extension of my army collection. They're not hard to read although maybe larger than necessary, I have no problem with my opponent using my dice either, and conversely happy to use theirs.

    Although in saying that, I HATE Mal's stupid smiley faces, they smile away cheerfully while I'm getting punished.

    You could just agree to use one persons dice, but then you'll want to stop James's rituals before they happen and he's made love to your favorite dice.

    1. Ha ha...yeah well the point is that there is no consistency between the custom dice. So when things are done at speed that is how mistakes occur. Additionally, there are dice you can't see, and it's just stupid, especially the ones with the marbled metal inlays (Tom V's dice for instance).

    2. Standardised sets also eliminate dice cheating/tampering.

  2. I'm happy for people to use my dice if they want. Like Chaoswolf said my dice are also an extension of my army. They are also nice contrasting colours (black on white). I've found most people with custom dice (chessex 16mm) have the '6' replaced with a symbol. Its only the wierdo GW special dice with the '1' replaced (with imperial eagles lol). Is Pete reading 'D'?
    Pretty much agree with your other sentiments though.

  3. Not worried about the 10mm symbol dice most people use, though it can be annoying when the symbol is a 1. why would you want that anyway?

    The one that really gets me is twats using Casino dice and trying to tell me they are more random while they slide across/drop to the table without actually changing faces once... Throw it several feet and hit a wall and then we can talk

    Another of my main pet peeves is players using cannon but never actually checking if they can see the point on the table ten inches from the back when often its not possible. Then hey look at me like I'm a Gamey git for calling them on it...

    1. What are these casino dice? I think I would probably lose the plot if someone used those in a game with me! Yeah so many people don't know the cannon rules well enough, I think the rule book states that "you must pick a point that you can see and then roll the artillery dice" or something like that...

      @Dan and Jossy...I think you guys are getting pretty mystic here, "extension of your army", your army is the extension of your army, your dice are the medium in which you determine a value as to how your army will act on the board....if they were an extension, why are they not included in paint scores?

  4. I think you're just waffling now, if you really thought we were being mystical you'd have said so to start with, that and in the context of a fantasy board game, having dice that match the theme of your army SUDDENLY strikes you as odd... cool story bro :)

    1. Yep fair is a fantasy board game, however we do have rules and rolling dice is a part of it....other wise we'd just be kids pushing toy soldiers around a board (hey wait a minute...).
      However, I still think points A,B and C are still valid regardless.

  5. Totally agree with you on all of them. Especially rules queries. People need to accept the fact that they might be wrong about things, even if "that's not how we play it at our club". Now I'm not a very patient person and I do tend to get overly aggressive and not nice if people are flaffing about with rules queries (See Guardcon 2011). But that's just me.

    1. My take-away thoughts after the tournament were: how good would it be if we had actual referees? Whatever your thoughts on Magic the Gathering they sure know how to run well organised and arbitrated tournaments. I watched a tournament not so long ago at Vagabonds on the Shore, and a really heated argument was resolved within minutes by one of their qualified refs. Quite interesting...