Monday, 18 February 2013

NZTC: The path of the Nerdyman is beset on all sides... the inequities of the FAQS and the tyranny of evil players. Blessed is he who, in the name of chance and good tactics, shepherds the geek through the valley of Ngaio, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost dice. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to outplay and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Nerd when I lay My vengeance upon thee!

The New Zealand Team Championship has to be the most epic event that I've ever attended.  The vibe.  The intensity.  The antics. The socialising.  The Lads on tour.  The great collection of varied and interesting individuals that make Fantasy tabletop wargaming the most exciting and fun (in my humblest of opinions) hobby in which to participate!

Going to Wellington always has a sense of occasion.  It has many old buildings nestled through its spectacular hills.  The journey to the venue in which the taxi takes, slips over these undulations, through tunnels, eventually arriving in Ngaio valley and its old brick hall.  Marvelous.

The event was smoothly run, Locky Reid and Ryan Lister doing a great job with the officiating and Pete Dunn with the initial impetus/organisation (kudos Pete).

I was slightly disappointed that only the Nerdymen and team OMEN took initiative and designed their own team shirts.  It really would have added to the occasion and generated a carnival-like atmosphere if all the teams wore something that made them stand out (especially the locals, it's not like you had to pay for flights!).

Even though the white trim with buttons made them look like gay sailors, their shirts were fucking awesome! (I secretly wanted to look like a gay sailor too).  James - I'm going to unabashedly copy your headband next year!

Whilst we came second, we had the satisfaction of knowing that we smashed NZ Hammered (3rd) who, in turn, smashed the Von Trapps (minus lederhosen) the eventual winners.  Really proud to have served The League of Extraordinary Nerdymen in this inaugural event.  We spent so much time where we could have been productive at work, planning and plotting and just talking about Hammer in satisfying.

Before I get into the game break downs I just want to say....if you are looking for cheap accommodation in Wellington never, ever, EVER stay at The Lodge in the City on Taranaki Street in the central city.  Came home Sunday morning 2am after another night out to find that our locks had been changed and that someone had been into our room.  Needless to say didn't get to bed until 3:30am.... facilities were comparable to a concentration camp - worried that Zyklon B was going to come out of the shower head.  Disgusting.

 Game 1 - Glen Burfield (VC)
Weathering a storm of screams, most valuable unit (MVU) "Skellie Bus" tagged both the terrorgeists and some other stuff.  All that was left was some ghouls and his lord, everything else returned to undeath....
Still it was a really cool game with lots of really good maneuvering from both Glen and I.  Glen came undone when he strayed to close to Skelly bus  with one terrorgeist, then when I finished it off in his following turn of combat I killed it then reformed to charge the other terrorgeist in my following turn.


Vargie kills these wolves and overruns into vargeists wiping them out.

Over view

Skelly bus'!  lordy didn't go in for the kill against Glens vamp lord...learned my lesson from OTT!  Kill what you can and get the points! 16-4 win!
Joel vs Tom round one
Paul vs James round one.

Graeme vs Sam round one.

Totally forgot to take photos of round two, had a good game vs Damon's lizards won 14-6 - here's me vs Mr Millington!

Looking promising...

Niue's finest!

Feel the magic!

The ultimate sacrifice - raised zombies....literally the most crucial spell for vamps, but no vamps player in this country (that I've played at least) uses it - for goodness get a free unbreakable unit!  That leaks no points!

Skellie bus eventually killed that shrine...I lost 15-5, lost all my black knights to that fucking dumb spell gateway (wasn't 11-12 result).  Read my scroll of shielding and failed eight 4+ wards at once.  So shit.  James went on to make a ridiculous amount of 6+ wards to pop a lonely lordy vs the chaos knights (only time I lost him...complete reversal of OTT where I was 5/6 NZTC 1/6.  Good game though with a tonne of carnage which is always fun!

Game 4 vs Cody and cut the mustard....double charge vargies almost takes out the treeman, one dies but two wraiths zap in to pedo-touch him to his death.....

I deployed my bus right at his flank, then swept across....if I charged up the middle with the bus I would have been seriously fucked.

Cody....what a guy....we both ended up singing silly songs together....great fun!

Close up.....I ended up winning this game 17-3, to be fair Cody didn't have much experience with WE and in the right hands this list would have ended up being really fucking annoying and I would have had to of played out of my skin for a small win,  My advice Cody....don't play 40k

Day two....pre-battle, discussing tactics before match-ups against NZ Hammered!  Played Glen's Warriors....almost turned into a disaster....but I invoked the dice GODS by doing a special dance saving Lordy from the brink....

Lordy surviving and killing and bathing in blood and killing and spilling intestines and killing and gorging on the blood of his fallen enemies and KILLING some more!

Unlucky not to crack the skull crushers (GW originality fail wtf skull/blood crushers?)

Oh lordy, oh lordy I love you so much! 14-6 win!  Take that NZ Hammered....and yes Glen I gratefully accept your grudge for Equinox!

Ha ha Graeme survives for a 10-10 huzzah.....Nerdymen crush NZ Hammered, yeah!

Mike King...super nice guy (Grumpy Old Man apparently) a hard match up for both him and I....if he could zap the bus (and he had the tools to do it) it was game over for me and if he couldn't it was game over for him.

Slaan in building far left....

Skelly bus MVU!!

Operation get the slaan

Woof time...

Raised zombies occupy the building....Slaan left to be closer to the important combat (next shot)

Mike double charged me with two saurus blocks....massive mistake you gave me free res as you could only get the one pha's and speed of light off on one were better off charging in with one and and res-ing me off the board....any way in this combat the double charge failed to kill lordy and MVU Skelly bus tagged the Saurus in the side for the win

uuuurrrgghhhh niifff uuurgghh

3 blood brothers on a rampage!

Eventually tagged Slaan with Lordy giving me the 17-3 win

Some grumpy old men....

3rd place winners

2nd place winners!  I love you guys and had a blast!

Some guy walking away with a time Dunnites, next time!


  1. James did not have gateway.
    It must of been a comet?
    Also scroll of shielding has no effect on comet?

    1. Yeah sorry it was commet! They still had the 4 up save though.....I suffered gateway at the hands of Glen Tibbles....which also annihilated all my black knights in one hit....I think if I ever play Vamps again (going to go back to Empire) I'd take two more Blackies.
      Pretty sure you could use the scroll of shielding says when a spell is successfully cast....however I think the comet would have to come down in the phase you read the scroll for it to have an effect?

  2. You failed to mention in the caption of Graemes stoush with me that due to his dodgey bladder and ballet style back and forward moves we only played five turns.

    We'll get you Nerdymen - next time.

    Best weekend of Warhammer ever!

    1. Gray's tactic was to drink copious amounts of water before the game so his urge incontinence could keep him successfully distracted from the game!

      Do you still have that tissue paper Ant? I should get a could be like the Shroud of Turin....but instead of Jesus' face it would be your face in the tissue paper....

    2. Well the tactic worked.

      The tissues have been ritually (re)soiled and flushed. The voodoo fetish effect will engulf the Nerdymen with fits of choking when the day is as long as the night. That should come into full vigour 17th March.

      Mean while gloat while you may :)

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